looking back...

there are days when you are totally lost...when you have to think many times what you have to do....suddenly feels alone,even when all your near and dear ones are around you or a phone call away....during those times ,u suddenly realise things are not the same anymore...friends have moved on or they are busy with their own problems,other close friends u forgot to be n touch because of your busy schedule....moments which really analyse where you are now...i think today is one of those days for me....was thinking about the good old days in my life...days when responsibiity was near to nill...pressure free days...that is what I like to call it...especially the last year of my college life and the first few years in my first job....days when everything seems good and you were not too bothered about your career as getting into a job was enough for everyone...when everyone started earning and was realising the good sides of an independent life....those days were not totally free of tensions and stress but it is nothing compared to what is happening in each and everyone's life now!!...life changed almost 360 degree in couple of years.....maybe that is how life is meant to be but days like this, you just wish that you can see those old friends once more,go for a movie with them,celebrate one more birthday like before...hmmm

shozu rocks!!

im still gettng used to my new phone...blackberry type phones are new to me...accessing gmail z still the highlight..skype z also good,keeps me connected to mani all the time...today accidentally clickd shozu,a new application...itz made for net freaks like me...can access youtube,blog,picassa,facebook and many more using a single interface..just awesome..

back to a normal life....

finally finished it and posted it to lancaster.....lack of sleep, stress and living with laptop 24 hours have really turned me into z zombie...realised it the other day with the intensity of dark cicles around the eyes...people around me were really suffering my bad mood swings....anyway all well that ends well!!...

I was not at all confident about the whole things till 3 days back...but after 2-3 rounds of editing and rewriting,it reached to a level of 'satisfactory'...I am not too worried about the end results cos I think this is the best I can do for an accademic piece of work...atleast when I was waiting for my turn in the post office,mind was quite relaxed...now lets see what my mentor think about it:)....

dissertation..driving me bonkers!!

aaaaaaaah....im just counting days to get rid of this report......mentally really testing ur limits...

im not able to concentrate well and I really dunno where my report is really heading to even after 10,000 words...............aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!**£$£$***.......

chalo,lemme get back to work!!!

staying n touch....

by my title wat i meant was about the online communities-facebook,tweeter and orkut...now im not planning to write the greatness of online and an essay abt it(even if my MBA has made me like that...writing 1500 word about anythng under the sun,using google!!)....nowadays morning when i get up,even before i have my cup of tea,first thing I do is check gmail,then straight to facebook and orkut...more and more moving to facebook,reason being more activity is happening there due to the options available....i was asking myself what draws me more and more towards it,especially i never used to like facebook in the beginning....

truth is that facebook really provide me an option to express myself and communicate with like minded people..
I see a movie,i would like to tell others how it was,facebook provides me an option...
I see an interesting link,I want to tell to others,facebook is there for me...
I want to tell my friends about what i felt about something, facebook status helps me...

I dunno getting adicted to facebook is good or not,but one thing is for sure,u always feel like, u r connected with everyone all the time!!...

sunday morning...

for the fiz time I am thinking wat to write..normally itz the other way round when it comes to blogging...strong urge to write about something make me open my webpage...this time it is the other way round...

now this is something which I have always thought and never got an answer...what would have been my right profession??...what was that I should have done differently....something which I have realised in the past 5-6 years is that-those people are so lucky,who could carve a career out of their passion/interests/hobbies...painters,dancers,sportsmen all come in that category....someone who realised in a youngage itself where their interests lie and developed the talent in that and made a career out of it....when i was small(as in during school years),I never realised the importance of that,partly because I did my schooling in a place where fulfillment of 10 years of education was considered as getting a rank in 10th standard..at that time,finishing 10th was the only thing in mind(partly because of the strong desire to get out of the school),then college,then like everyone else engineering....understood i was totally in the wrong path for the first time-during the 2nd year in college,when I realised I really dun have any interest in electronics!!!-remember, this was during my 2nd year of Electronics & Instrumentation engineering!!!....I knew I was at a stage where I ddn have too many options but to continue..I never had the guts to do something different at that time....but honestly that was a time when I asked myself for the fiz time what I wanted out of my life...what dd I miss realising about me....surprisingly the answers came out clearly and quite fast...my ideal career was either as a professional classical dancer or a hotel management student or a fashion designer...these were all options which I failed to consider due to the env I was brought up where everything ended and started for an eng degree....I knew that I would have done wonders in all 3 professions cos my passion really lies there...anyway it was too late...
the second biggest mistake I dd in my life was, or i still dunno whether I had another choice also,was taking up my job in Infosys....joining a company which considered every other person as a headcount....in a way I am grateful also,cos that was the phase which really tested my limits,and I realised I need to do something at this point to save myself and my career and decided to go for an MBA....why a foreign MBA??...many asked me and I was quite clear in that decision- I was looking for an experience and not just an MBA.....had to convince my parents how imp this decision was for me...

now when I look back,that was one decision for which I will always be proud of myself, a decision which really changed my life and me as a person...:)...

dunno wat to write...

for the past 1 week,at many points I wanted to blog on lot of thoughts...but today when i got sometime and when internet is also there, mind is blank...partly is because of the things going around which is heavily pulling me down...especially kuttuz accident....times when you realise the flip side of being away from home...he went thru major pain today morning while dressing the wound but handlded it quite well...not writing too much about it as my eyes are already full...im still not able to handle things like this well when it happens to kuttu,amma or achan....anyway he will recover soon...my prayers r always thr for him....mz u kuttu:)...
in work side,things are ending in a good note,yzday for the fiz time I felt my efforts for the past 2 months are paying off...the presentation to director board is on friday...im feeling quite confident after yzdayz presentation with Ben....this 2 monthz really changed me as a person...I was very low in confidence when I started off, as I really doubted whether I can pull off this big project all by myself...I really wished I was working with a partner so that I can share the load...but at the same time I knew that,if I completed it well,this will give me the confidence to kick start my marketing career...tht is what is happening now...I learnt more about marketing than I learnt in the last 1 year in my MBA...more than just making a Marketing plan,learnt the path of Market Research and I have to say that whatever has been taught by Gerry Johnson has changed my line of thought,which helped me immensely in the past 2 months...Another fact is that,I have become quite interested in doing indepedent marketing consulting as I find that path quite challenging and quite enriching...the immediate benefit is working in multiple domains which you may not get while working in a single companny,be it any MNC...another is the freedom and flexibility which I have in my job...anyway I am quite confident that marketing/branding is where I belong to and finally my career is taking off:)...

on the way....

on the way back 2 london after my presentation....back 2 london--like the way iv used it...felt relly disconnected with lancaster when i was thr also...it was a short trip also.....was hardly thr for 2-3 hours....the presentation went well....i guess this blog is mainly 2 express my happiness of 'being connected' while travelling...yep,got internet:)...ur journey looks all the more interesting now.....more providers should provide internet,as i feel tmobile rates r a bit high.....days are flying...within no time it will reach that day,when i will b handing over my dissertation:)....
nowadays i spent more time travelling than anythng else....daily 2 hours up and down travel to kent...in maniz wordz-uv become a true londoner now...thtz true,majority of the ones here travel atleast half an hour to their work place...guess only very few are as lucky as my fiancee who reach office n 15mnts-tht too -walking!!....
some songs just stir too much emotions inside u...atleast for me ,itz true...the best way u can listen to them would be during traveling:)....nowadays everyone has only 1 question to me-u shud b relly excited na,since oct is just round the corner...yesterday n the party also,that was the main query:)....
does it relly change a lot of things for me...change from Ms to Mrs...still dunno....both of us know so well reach other that i relly dun think a wedding changes a lot of thing n my life:)...always wanted to get married like this- after being very confident in that relationship and im so happy the way things shaped b.w us the past 1 year...more than anything-i got my best friend:)..always used to think when gai and somi bcums busy with their life,who will fill that space...now iv that answer:)....have always heard that,u need time to get used to each others bad side...know that itz true..cos getting used to that tests the relationship and im happy that we both complement each other so well...touchwood:)...

itz sinking n...

hmm..itz sinking n slowly that itz all coming to an end...i shud b packing now...when my whole room z like a garbage bin and itz getting near 12,im finding time to blog...sometimes i relly cant make out wat z runnign inside my head....today was the gr8 indian party....everything went well,think non desiz relly enjoyed the food....after such a long time,i had a proper indian buffet also,by proper i mean-tasty,which was totally desi and not brit desi!!....thr were around 10-13 dishes made by a team of 13:)....
whatever z going on here relly reminds me of the last few days of infy training days...clearly remembers the teary farewells,but still somewhere we all thought we will meet again...but now when i look back,i know clearly that i hardly met any outside mlore and blore....thz z gonna b worse than tht...people r leaving to diff parts of the world...meeting any of them again,z gonna b hard....only when it comes to saying good bye,u realise,even if u were not the bez buddies,thr was something n tht frndship,which u will miss,which u wun get back....we fought with each other,we slogged together,we had sleepless nights before assignment deadlines and exams,but we all managed to reach till here!!...

i know that another phase n my life z also coming to an end,something which z relly an end-or a beginning of an end-end of my student life...infact today was the laz class of my MBA- my final elective-revenue management..somewhere n b.w i remembered the fiz term classes,when the whole class -LT3 used to be full...indian brigade occupyng the last row...atsu,akira sleeping n one row....nikitha,jane taking notes n the first row......it was all flashing n front of my eyes suddenly....somewhere i juz wished if i cud get all of tht once more!!....as iv said we may not b the bez of frndz,but we all sailed together this one year,which was,as Soad says,a self discovering journey for many....

not writing more...i think itz high time,i pack something....gdnte...

Last week in Lancaster....

last week here....still thr z 3 months more to go,but the final lap has started....a journey which started last Sep...it has just been 8 months,but seems like years...rest of the 4 days r packed with packing and parties....sat planning for a party hosted by indians...russians and chinese have done their part,so now itz our turn....friday there z a barbeque.... planning to leave on sunday morning(hopefully!!,after all the packing!!)...

will i miss anything about this campus??...i seriousily doubt that,to b very honest:)....have some memories which will b there for sometime,some friendships which i will try to maintain...apart from that what z gonna b longlasting z the learning-course itself.....MBA literally opened up a whole new world for me...before my career was swinging around a software world...i could only realise what i did not want...still it troubled me a lot about what i wanted....there was a phase when i tried to understand myself and what i wanted to explore in my life,and somewhere i realised an MBA will help me to solve that mystery.....

a new post...

cudn find any other title for this blog.....writing after 5 months??..or 4??...why dd i decide to write suddenly..even tht z unknown.....i guess the main reason being-not feeling sleepy at 2......nowadays iv lot of free time with classes happening only once n a while...term is quite relaxed and it gives u a feeling that it is all going to end soon......4 more months to go....am i feeling happy,sad,tensed??...cant separate one out of the other,but definitely i will b releived,thtz for sure....to b honest,not a phase which makes me want more of it....but have been a diff experience and it was a steep learning curve for me from sep onwards...

was i expecting such an atmosphere when i started from india in sep 27th??...definitely not(guess i shud b honest here;))....now when itz entering the final lap,i can look back and say that itz been the most challenging 7 months in my life-there were points where i found it very difficult to find a balance between many things happening around but i managed to make it through....and im proud of it...

now about the d day which is happening in oct...am i excited about it??........very much!!!...more than i ever thought i would be....will b home rit after submitting my dissertation and will b back only by nov end....hope the stress of job hunt wun hit me during the wedding time:)....

guess i shud hit the bed now......otherwise it will b a night out!!...posts are going to b regular from now onwards ...and tht too with proper titles!!!;)

start of a new year,term,journey.....year which is going to b special!!

its 2009....more or less like life turned 360 degree in 1.5 months,was more or less like living through 5 years in 1.5 months!!...met the one i have been waiting so long and when 2009 started- engaged also!!..wat more u can ask for when a year begin:)...dun wan2 put the details of that eventful november 2008 as it is really personal for both of us and im sure somone will kill me for making it so public:D....term coming to an end on december with assignments,presentations,exams all lined up in 2 weeks... sudden trip back to india for both of us,so short that the only thing i can remember is the d day-engagement...the night after the function was back n the airport for the return journey!!...story ends thr??...how come when case study exam is waiting for u back n lanc!!...integrated case study exam for all modules...
anyway new term is starting tomm...life has definitely became interesting due to lot of reasons:)....so 2009 brings with it lots of hopes,promises and challenges...the past 3 months taught all of us one good lesson-when the going gets tough,tough gets going!!!